i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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