Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
