i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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