My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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