I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize