remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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