She said her name was "party"
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
