I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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