her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
