I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
