I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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