Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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