She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
