Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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