Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
