I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
