Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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