Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
