i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
