This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
