she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
