he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
