I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
