grandma shit on top of the toilet
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
