I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
