big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
