apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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