i just google imaged poop.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
