booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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