Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
