On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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