A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
