Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
