I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
