your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
