Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
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