Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
