I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
