Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
