You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
