did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
