I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
home. puking in laundry basket.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize