the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
