Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
