Just fell off a train. Bad.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
