Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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