exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
