is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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