it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
