You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
