oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
