It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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