Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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