I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
