Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
