do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
