How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Randomize
