Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I love having hate sex.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
