On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
