she woke up with a sticky ear
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i came on her dog
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
