now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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