I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
