So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
