Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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