I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
